Friday, April 8, 2011

If you met me

Today I'm linking up with one of my favourite hops, The Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday.  Every Friday, this is the game: 

Got five minutes? Let’s write. Let’s write in shades of real and true and unscripted.
Let’s just write and not worry if it’s just right or not.


1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minuter who linked up before you.

This week's prompt is:  If you met me...

*GO*

...you would probably misunderstand me.  Not sure if I have an incredible blind spot or if I just don't understand how I come across, but I'm often shocked by perceptions of me, because they're so far from who I think I am.  And that is someone complex, like everyone.  I'm book smart but famously lacking in common sense.  I feel incredible compassion and empathy for others, but am snobbish about poor grammar and excessively loud talkers wearing fanny packs.  The world often feels overwhelmingly unkind, so I shut it out so hard I seem cold.  I crave deep friendship, but no one except my husband has ever measured up to my emotional needs and I have to fight not to push him away.  I feel alone and out of touch with my peers a lot of the time, and always have.  It seems so many people feel this way and I wonder what stops us from connecting.  Why are we so afraid of each other?  I don't want to blame everything on childhood, but I do believe the intense bullying I experienced when younger permanently changed me.  No ten year old should feel suicidal.  Why do we think feelings don't count when they don't belong to an adult?

*STOP*

8 comments:

  1. fabulous. all that's needed. I can totally relate to several things you said. especially the husband idea. I feel most of the time he is the only one that "gets me" and for that I'm thankful. thanks for coming by tonight. I'm now following from 5 minute friday
    {tara} from Undeserving Grace

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  2. Hi. I'm Julie. I came over from Five Minute Friday. Thank you for being so honest and transparent in your post. It does sound like you had childhood trauma - something I'm working through with my daughter. I'm sorry you felt like your feelings didn't count as a child. You were hurt and scared and that was REAL. No kid should be alone in their pain. God bless.

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  3. Wow, this is really powerful. Thanks for sharing

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  4. I totally hear you... and you sound a lot like me except that I wasn't bullied; I simply had no friends.

    What is it that stops us from connecting? Seriously?

    Stopping in from the LBS tea party.

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  5. I am so sorry you were bullied. In a former life I was a teacher for many years before we started our family. I am an includer, and an extrovert. Know that if I met you, I would want to know you just the way you are. Bless you. ;)

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  6. This is a great write. I totally get the contradictory nature of your personality. I'm the same. I baffle myself! I too was bullied all through school. I'm still not over it - it leaves its mark. Thanks for linking up to Monday Madness at wordsinsync - im following. Shah. X

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  7. You're awesome.This is my middle daughter to a tee.

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  8. wow. that is great! This sounds exactly like me. You are awesome

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Lend me some sugar!