The craziest shopping experience I've had was a memorable mall trip when I was fourteen, during which:
- my best friend burst out laughing while we were in the middle of the food court, and when she threw her head forward, poked herself in the eye with her straw
- my other friend singed off half her eyebrow while showing off the flame height of her cigarette lighter after she took the safety off. At this point we got kicked out of the food court.
- another "friend" in the group stole a bunch of earrings by stuffing them into a chip bag, then asking me if I wanted some chips and giving the bag to me. When she grabbed the bag back outside the store I had no idea why. This is when I started to think I should really get some new friends.
- we stopped by the nearest department store and mocked the fat middle-aged women shopping in the lingerie section. Then we ran backwards up and down the escalators shrieking and giggling. At this point we got kicked out of the department store.
- we careened down the mall hallways, chattering and swearing at the top of our little girl voices, then taking turns hipchecking each other into store windows. At this point we got kicked out of the entire mall, so we danced over to the bus terminal, where I scavenged a quarter from someone to call my parents and tell them I was going to Jen's to study for a test tomorrow. We then took a bus over to our favourite pool hall to flirt and play a few rounds.
And that was shopping back in the day...take it away, Kia hamsters!