Saturday, May 7, 2011

Comment...or else

Comment love.  Does this topic ever generate controversy in the blogosphere!  I was reading a Friday Confessional post on Amberly Adventures and she mentioned breaking up with blogs, and how disappointing it is when people don't acknowledge your friendliness.  She also talked about the unwritten blog rule of "I'll comment on you only if you comment on me".

I have to admit that when I started blogging in December, I didn't even realize I was supposed to respond to comments.  My bad.  And this won't be popular, but I resent this rule now that I know it exists.  Before everyone who reads this deletes me, hear me out.  I actually really like commenting.  Sometimes I don't post as much because I'm having too much fun reading and commenting on new and familiar blog friends to write a new post.

What I don't like is the pressure.  This is my hobby!  My fun, safe place to relax.  I don't have a spreadsheet set up where I keep track of how often I've commented on a blog and whether that person has commented back precisely as many times as I commented on them.  I follow only those blogs I'm interested in reading, and I comment on a post when I have something to say, which is most of the time haha!  Why does it have to be more complicated than that?

I do sometimes feel bad if I comment regularly and never get a response, or if no one comments on a post, but that's life.  I remember posting about this early on and someone commented that I should keep writing, because you never know who's reading but is too shy to speak up.  It's true - for every blog I comment on, there are several more I've read and enjoyed, but didn't comment because I didn't have anything to say beyond "I read this and liked it".

I guess what I'm getting at with this rambling is that my comments are no strings attached.  I greatly appreciate comments from others but I'm not keeping score and I don't want to.  Hopefully I'll keep hearing from you anyway. :)

I'm totally slacking on the 30-day music challenge, along with my diet and other activities requiring discipline.  Boo for me!

Day 14 is a song that no one would expect you to love.  Since I hate country music, you might not expect me to like Save a Horse by Big & Rich, but the raunchy side of me loves it, twang and all.  It's an awesome bar song too.

Day 15 is a song that describes you.  It's gotta be Fighter by Christina Aguilera:


  1. I completely know what you mean! I feel like Twitter sometimes gets in the way of the comments ending up on my blog. We talk about it on twitter or retweet and then nothing leaves a permanent mark on the blog. I try to always respond to the comment left me on my posts. Makes me feel like I'm thanking a commenter, but I'm not ever sure if they get read. This was a good topic to bring up!

  2. Yes, the comment topic. I don't get why there needs to be 'rules'. I comment on blogs/ posts that I like and enjoy, and I don't expect a reply, although that is nice. I do try to reply to comments on my own posts, not out of obligation, but because I genuinely enjoy the interaction.

    My own rule is this: I always email all first-time commentators to let them know that I've read their comment and appreciate it. That way, even if they don't come back to see if I've replied, they know I did.

    I say, just keep it friendly. So, I agree with you Ixy!

  3. it does get tricksy with all the little unwritten rules, doesn't it? when i discover that somewhere that i frequently comment usually has responses, i try to remember to go back later to see if they responded to mine. if they don't, i don't care. they're busy with real life. that's so much more important than blogosphere bullsh*t politics. if someone replies to me, it's nice, but it certainly isn't necessary for me to like your writing.
    and what's with people getting all weepy when they lose a follower? as long as they're not dropping like flies all of a sudden, it probably doesn't mean anything & doesn't need to be fretted over. we stop watching tv shows sometimes, not because we come to hate them, but they're just not holding our attention anymore or we've gotten too busy. same thing with blogs. no hard feelings.
    sorry, i got a bit long-winded there.

  4. Nice post! But the song from the end just killed me!!! hahha... I never have heard it before... but the music and the words are FUNNY-TRUE!


  5. Thanks for post this!! Commenting is the one part of blogging that stresses me out. I always have great intentions of responding to each and every comment, but... yeah. I forget. And then I feel like a jerk. And you're right, this is supposed to be FUN, not an extra guilt-inducing activity!

  6. I'm so guilty lately of not keeping up with responses to comments others leave; some days, I'm on top of it, others, it just gets by me.

    Like everyone, I enjoy reading what all my favs post and always try leaving a comment for them. Have to admit, the one thing that riles me are the one-liners..."Follow me back, great coupon and other meaningless junk offers". Seeing those, after I put out a decent post takes the wind out of my sails.

    Wishing you a lovely, lovely day...that's my important comment for this day!


  7. I don't like the pressure either...sometimes I don't comment because I don't know what to even say! And I don't want to be like...umm thanks for commenting..cause what is that? That's what everyone says. I guess I should to please some blogs because maybe they just want recognition?? I don't know.

    That song on Save a horse is way too country for me! LOL but I do like that song, in the REMIX version, have you heard it? It will really get me dancing!

    P.S I think I'm the blog Amber broke up with! :( I didn't mean to not acknowledge her..I didn't even sad! I'm really not a mean person...

  8. Thank you for bringing this up! I've had these thoughts in my head for weeks and I've reacted by burying my head in the sand.

    I suck at responding to comments. I often suck at leaving comments. I appreciate them and love them but I have a really hard time responding to them without feeling like a big awkward dork.

    I totally love the bloggers who are able to personally respond to every note, and then I wonder where in the world they find the time?!

    Ugh. I just don't do it good.

  9. I like interactive bloggers as well. I usually post on on my blog every single day but hardly ever get any comments :-(

    This is a good topic. Visitng from FTLOB Comment Love!

  10. For the record J was not one of my bloggy friends that I broke up with, and I hope she knows that now!

    Also, I really liked this post. I feel the same way as you do about it. Like I had mentioned, I was torn on the whole, "I'll comment you if you comment me" thing. I really enjoy just reading various blogs and I may not comment on EVERY post someone makes, but if I've got something to say, I'm not going to hold it back!

    What I'm bad at is following people, I tend to comment on people and then close them and not see them again until another link up...sometimes it takes me like 5 visits to actually start following them because I get so excited about bouncing from blog to blog that I just forget!

    My frustration mostly came from a blogger who hosted a meme that I've participated in every week since I STARTED blogging (back in Feb). It's like I said to J, perhaps I'm just spoiled by Mamarazzi because if SHE can visit 60+ bloggers multiple times a week for all of her link ups, then I figured this person could do the same with the 15 that link up to her. Not to mention I commented on her blog a lot in was just frustrating and to be honest...made me feel stalkerish, haha

    Anyway, blogging should be fun and not a tedious task. I know once it becomes that for me I'll bow out because...why do something in your free time you don't enjoy, right??

  11. What a timely topic! I'm visiting from Comment Love Day, and it's totally okay if you don't respond to my comment. No pressure here and no strings attached. Like you, blogging is my hobby...and the moment it becomes about pressure and stress is the moment that I've started doing something wrong. I often don't have time to respond to comments on my own blog...especially after visiting and commenting on the many blogs I love. I'm with you on only commenting and following the blogs you truly love. Otherwise, what's the point? Sure, it's nice to have followers and comments, but the truly nice thing is honest-to-goodness interaction with no pressure or obligations.

    Great post! :)

  12. Everyone blogs for different reasons, and I agree that the eye for an eye law in the comment world is a bit superficial... but let's not forget the original purpose of comments. A thoughtful comment is always better than an empty one, but the point is to connect people. Only leave comments when you're heart is truly in it or else it's a waste of time!

  13. I love that you are so bold to post this and do a comment love blog hop. I often think about these things, but I don't say them. My other pet peeve is blog hops that are meant to gain followers who never again look at your blog. My numbers may be huge after that, but is my blog actually reaching anyone? I would rather have true interactions with people who enjoy reading what I have to write. Thanks again for saying what was on my mind! LOL

    Stopping by from the Comment Love blog hop. I hope you have a GREAT week!

  14. Wow! This is what I was thinking too [and obviously lots of others, haha]. I hate when I'm expected to comment on someone's blog just because they left me a comment. If I like your blog, I'm going to read it. Period. Whether I comment is whether I have something to say.

    Here's to no pressure!

    I'm from the blog hop, haha. Have a great day, and don't feel the need to comment back. Just know that I really enjoyed this post. =]

  15. I wish I was better at commenting & getting back to people who comment on my blog, cuz I truly freak out when I get a comment, they just make me that happy!! I read alot of blogs...I love reading blogs....and I just feel like I'm not able to comment every time. But like you said, when there is something to say, I say it!! But I will say I have had my feelings hurt a couple of times after leaving some pretty deep comments & not hearing back. But then I just remind myself that some people have left me some deep comments & I never got back to them, but I sure appreciated them all the same! Anyways, I'm with everyone else....CHEERS to no pressure!!

  16. I try to respond to comments, but then I wonder if the commentor (don't even know if that's correct) ever reads it. It's not like FB where you get pinged if someone tags you in a comment or comments on something you did. Or maybe I'm not doing something right? Who knows? Either way, I love to comment when I have something to say, just like you I find a lot of times I don't because it would be kind of lame to just type 'I like it.'

  17. You are right about it people losing sight of blogging being a fun and relaxing hobby. When I don't log in for a few days I feel both guilty and like I'm missing out on what everyone is doing. If you were to comment on all the posts of all the sites followed then you would never get on with your life. Just enjoy.

  18. Hey, I think it is whatever you make it. Some people try waaaay too hard to make their blog big. When guaranteed the amount of followers does not reflect actual readership. I think you are doing it great. And we will still be here to follow along your journey!

  19. I've only been blogging for two months, but I figured out this little unwritten rule pretty quick. And honestly, it doesn't bother me too much. I like responding to comments and finding new blogs of the people who visit mine. But I'm just a little blogger. I can't imagine what it would be like for the people who have 1,000+ or even just a couple hundred people following and leaving comments. How could you ever respond to each one?? You'd never have time for real life!

    People just need to chill out and not get their panties in a wad if they comment and don't receive one in return! Don't most people blog mainly for themselves anyways? I mean, in real life, I don't go around showing people pictures of my redecorated house. Why should I be offended in blog-world if someone doesn't say something about it??? :o)

  20. I don't like the "rules" either! Here's what I do- if I can respond via email to a person I always do, because it's so EASY and I'm a jabber-wocky. If I get a no-reply email when I try to respond, then I *try* to come back to the blog to respond there instead, but people go BACK to my post to see if I've responded? It seems unlikely, right? Anyway...I guess this is another reason I like the facebook "like" button. Lets people know I've read it and appreciated it! Sometimes I wish blog posts had a like button :)

  21. I often go back to people's blogs to see if they responded to my comments:)
    Good post, and I'm always delighted to see someone else who doesn't follow this 'follow me-follow you' trend. I admit that I really love comments:) I think it's because I love social networking and connecting with people. Blogging has, for me, sort of replaced the fun of the good old discussion forums, that (sadly) are dying out.

  22. I don't care if it's cheesy, I love that Big and Rich song! But then again, I have been listening to a lot of Country lately. I suppressed my inner hick for a looong time.

  23. In my two years of blogging, I've learned that everyone has their own style on commenting, as well as their expectations.

    There are those who never respond to comments, those who always do, and those who acknowledge your visit by coming to your blog and leaving a comment.

    As for expectations, there are those who comment on your blog ONLY if you have commented on their blog first. And those who comment for you regardless of whether you have visited them or not.

    What I have noticed is that the more popular the blog, and the larger their readership, the less likely they will reply to your comment or come visit you. Yes, there are exceptions, but they are rare. I suppose it's because they are so busy and don't have the time.

    Each blogger has to do what's right and comfortable for them.

  24. I totally agree that it's best not to keep track. I also come into it not expecting a comment, I have too much disappointment in my life as it is I definitely don't want to put that kind of gravity on my blogging.

  25. Wow...I see this comment rule is becoming a big concern.

    I believe we should comment on a post after we read it, but if you don't feel like it it's okay.

    My thoughts on this is I love to read meaningful comments on my blog. It shows that the person reading your blog enjoyed your post and it builds community.


  26. I agree. I love reading the blogs I follow, and a lot of times I am compelled to comment when moved. Other times I don't have time or I mean to and forget, doesn't mean I don't love them 9Hello I wouldn't follow if I didn't!)

    It's like Facebook, There is a little "like" thing you can hover over on the underneath of most posts, and I often will go for that.

    I appreciate comments on my own, but my blog is not defined by them. It is defined by my writing and my ability to want to share it.

    If people read and relate, I am of course happy, if not, maybe they will on another post down the road.

    They don't make or break me.

  27. I'm glad you take some time to comment on mine every now and then, but I don't take offense when you don't. I too get busy with life, and I'll read the posts but not have time to comment all the time!

    However, this comment has a purpose, I gave you a blog award!


Lend me some sugar!