Saturday, May 7, 2011

In La La Land with cartwheels

MamaKat has the best writing prompts!  At her suggestion, here are 10 reasons why I couldn't be a Real Housewife:

1)         I truly love my husband, who is not a deranged control freak or a doormat.

2)         I'm not a blonde and they're real.  And I like it like that.

3)        I'm not rich, but what I do have I earned through my own hard work, using my brain, not my vagina (apologies to Vicki and Bethenny, the exceptions proving the rule).
4)        I know I can't sing and am not willing to terrorize the general public with my hideous caterwauling.

5)        When someone gives me a gift, I say thank you.  It never occurs to me to whine about the iPod option on the $115,739 Mercedes my husband gave me as a birthday surprise.

6)        I'm not skinny or crazy enough to walk a runway with this kind of style:

7)        Forget flipping tables - I think I'd have to flip Danielle herself if I were in the same room with her for any length of time.

8)     I generally require an invitation in order to attend a party, particularly when heads of state are involved.

9)      I didn't enjoy high school the first time around and have no desire to collect new, potentially dangerous frenemies.

10)     My competitive streak has a limit, and it doesn't involve going bankrupt in an attempt to show everyone how self-indulgent I can be. 

How about you?  Anyone planning to audition for The Real Housewives of the Blogosphere?


  1. Haha! This was so cute. I don't think I want to audition...LOL!!

  2. Hilarious post!!!

    And, being the vocabulary nerd that I am, appreciated the term caterwauling and have copied and pasted it into my online "book o' crazy words." Thanks!

    You have a fabulous-looking fam, by the way :)

  3. I could never be a housewife either for a majority of those reasons as well. Also because my children WILL be disciplined.

  4. Hilarious! Those shows drive me crazy, yet I somehow end up watching them anyway!

  5. Haha, I couldn't be a "real housewife" because I feel the need to work for a living... and because I'm not married. Seems like an important prerequisite...

    Stopping in from the LBS tea party. :-)

  6. The photo of your family is absolutely gorgeous! I wish you all the happiness in the world :)
    I couldn't be a real housewife either - I don't watch the series but I saw Nene on "The Apprentice" and if that's an example of the drama on those shows, then I really know I can't be a Real Housewife!

  7. your baby is a cutie patootie! you guys are all looking happy & sweet together.
    i like to watch some of those dumb shows, but i hope to never be as dumb as they are.

  8. Hysterical! OMG. Ramona's eyes in that video. Thank god for blogs, because I seriously do not watch ANY t.v. lately and look what I'm missing out on! I think Real Housewives of the blogosphere would be way too wholesome for Bravo... ;)


Lend me some sugar!