Tuesday, May 10, 2011

You can't bleach that

Thongs are a great invention.  No unruly bunching that makes you look like you've grown an extra bum cheek.  No uncomfortable pinching and pulling.  No resemblance to someone's grandma...usually.

At one time I had a large collection of these magical undies, to which my cat was freakishly attracted.  I would often struggle to open my dresser drawer against furry resistance after my cat had decided to take a nap with my undergarments.

This might seem mildly disgusting to a non-pet owner.  Ha!  One day I noticed that the magical undies were not providing their usual comfortable coverage, and in fact seemed to be downright irritating.  After a fidgety day, I switched to another pair and forgot about it.  Until a few days later, when again I found myself wiggling in my seat trying to distance myself from these dreadful scraps of fabric. 

Mystified, I decided to investigate the home of the distinctly un-magical underwear.  I pulled the drawer all the way out and that's when I found it.  Right at the back of the drawer, with faint stains indicating it hadn't always been at the back, a small puddle of cat pee. 

After a long, scalding bath and hysterical application of exfoliating scrubs, I finally felt calm enough to get dressed.  Without underwear.  One expensive shopping trip later, I had restocked and put a lock on my dresser drawer, but the trauma remains to this day.  I'll never look at a thong the same way again.

And that is the most destructive thing my pet has ever done.

Mama’s Losin’ It

I skipped days 16-18 of the music challenge because they sucked.  Day 19 is a song from your favorite album, which is For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert.  You know a guy is hot when he can make a mullet look good. 


28 comments:

  1. Good idea about putting that lock on the drawer! I guess kitty thought it was leaving you a "gift".

    Thanks for the Adam Lambert vid! I've always seen pics of him and appreciated his fashion sense, but (believe it or not) have never heard him sing a song or seen any of his videos. After looking at this one, I must say, he looks better in motion :)

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  2. Oh my gosh, cannot believe you just shared that...with the world! Haha, no but really, too funny. And I LOVE that song, great choice :)

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  3. The cat was just PROTECTING your underwear.... don´t be mad... :) you have real security )) Nice post ... but the thirst picture... hahhaa... even I, at my 20 am ashamed to put on that kind of bikini and walk on the seaside!! NO WAY!!!

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  4. You made me giggle, and in the depths of despair that I am living in right now I needed it. Thanks

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  5. HAHA! That is too funny! Good thing you got the lock for the drawer. ;)

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  6. Hi I just found your blog. I have to admit I laughed pretty hard here. Although I feel your pain it was still pretty funny. Have a great day. I'll be following.
    http://melyndarockinthecrazy.blogspot.com/

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  7. I'm going to say it- I am really sad that Adam Lambert is your favorite album. That hurts my head and my heart babe.

    With that being said, my cats LOVE my lace underwear. Sadly, they also hump it and rip it. Mother effers.

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  8. My butt itches now. Thanks for that.

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  9. How funny about your Cat's obsession with your panties. Weird but funny. The pee part grossed me out. I feel your pain. Thank goodness for locks :P

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  10. That is too funny! I can only imagine the itch!

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  11. Bad Kitty & Eeeew! Too bad you're forever traumatized by it but at least you found a solution.

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  12. Oh dear. Oh dear. Cat pee and thongs. I've had experience with both, just not together. I feel your pain!

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  13. Oh my goodness. I don't think I can ever have a cat after hearing this story.

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  14. I LOVE that picture of the lady at the beach. It puts 'Flaunt it is you've got it' in a whole new light. Great post!

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  15. I have heard cat's like to collect things. I have never heard they liked thongs before.

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  16. I was going to say poor undies, and poor you, but then, I look at the cat, and it's such an adorable looking cat! Too adorable, in fact, that I feel like buying a bunch of undies for him (her?) to sleep on.

    But yeah, I guess the lock was a good idea.

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  17. I'm speechless...

    Following from the Blog Hop.
    http://sewpizazzed.blogspot.com/
    http://milestonesoffaith.blogspot.com/

    Kerry

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  18. LOL! Great story! We've all had our undies pee'd on a time or two.
    Oh. wait.
    ;)
    New Follower from The Blog Entourage hop!
    Muffy
    www.outofcontrolcupcake.com

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  19. OMG! This is hysterically funny...for me. Not so much for you...at least at the time!

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  20. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm suddenly so happy to be a dog person! not that she doesn't have her own brand of crazy, she does!

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  21. This story totally makes me itch everywhere, I'm allergic to cats. ha! Since we are on the TMI subject I had to stop wearing thongs because of irritation (I've gained some weight and I'm not sure if there's a correlation.)I miss them.

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  22. Holy crap. This makes me want to empty my drawers and do inspections on my panties. I have a devious cat that I wouldn't put this past. I bet you were skeeved out for a good long while with that one. lol

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  23. oh, yuck!!! I totally would have tried to disinfect myself.

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  24. Yes on the bathing in disinfectant. Totally!

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  25. OMG. I don't usually use that acronym, but this situation really seemed to call for it. This is just like a cat to do...unfortunately. And while I've never had this particular experience, I've had plenty of other disgusting ones involving our cats...*sigh* the joys of cat ownership.

    Thanks for linking up at The Lightning and the Lightning Bug!

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  26. Euw, gruesome! Personally however I'm of the school of thought that these things are actually cheese wires in disguise, no thanks. ;)

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Lend me some sugar!