Wednesday, June 22, 2011

In my skin

I was just watching "Brides of Beverly Hills" and good Lord.  They should call it "Brides of Frankenstein" because I've never seen so much plastic surgery on my TV screen at once.  These women look like white Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with bleached blond hair.  Who knew Plastic Barbie was so desirable?

It got me thinking about aging and how freeing it must be to be 90 years old and not have to give a shit anymore.  Then again, when I was 13 I decided that as soon as I was done high school, I would shave my head of its wretched frizzy brown mess.  The idea was that it might magically grow back in straight and maybe even blonde! 

And of course I wouldn't mind being bald for awhile, since I'd be all old and everything once high school was done.  Strangely when the time came, I found that voluntarily balding myself just didn't seem right and I decided to push it off for another decade.  Or five.

So maybe I'll still be dolling myself up in the nursing home.  But the pressure will be off, I think.

I've got plenty of time before I hit the nursing home, but guys don't holler at me when I walk down the street anymore.  This is not a bad thing.  Everyone talks about the pleasures of youth but what about pre-middle age?  I'd like to take a moment to extol the joys of being in my 30s.

1)  That phrase "will this matter in five years?" really works.  I'm much more confident in my ability to handle minor irritations and larger setbacks, because experience has shown me that I can and will cope.

from this... 

to this:...mostly

2)  I wasn't born into a rich family, so I'm still paying off my student line of credit.  But there's a heckuva lot more left over than there used to be.  When I watch S. playing in the grass in the backyard or come around the corner and see our house on its little court, I know that all my hard work when I was younger paid off. 

In my twenties, I worked like a dog and studied every free moment for my professional exams, only to be awakened every night by drunken losers screaming and puking in our townhouse complex parking lot.  All I hear at night now are the crickets chirping in the marsh behind our house as I drift peacefully toward dreamland.

3)  I've reached a point in my career where there's lots to learn and look forward too, but I'm no longer on the bottom rung of the corporate ladder.  I'm putting my education to work and feel like I'm actually contributing something of value to my company every day.  Work increasingly brings me a feeling of accomplishment that was elusive earlier in my career.

4)  On the few occasions I go out dancing, I can flail about with happy abandon and not be subjected to some random loser sneaking up behind me and rubbing his erection on my leg.  It is a huge mystery to me why any male would think this is an effective pickup strategy.  Fortunately I don't have to worry about it anymore.

5)  I'm thankful I became a mother when I was old enough to handle it and that J. and I had 15 years to build a solid foundation in our relationship first.  I would have been a terrible mother in my 20s and I knew it.  Raising S. is my greatest stress and greatest joy, and I'm glad I waited until I was ready to be the mother she deserves.

6)  My life is finally in balance and I feel reasonably competent in all areas of it (except the disordered eating area, but maybe that's not the best place to excel).   I enjoy exercising skills I've mastered, whether it's preparing financial statement disclosure, dancing in a zumba class or comforting S. when she's crying.  I'm pretty curious and I'm always getting into new hobbies, but I like not being a permanent rookie anymore.

What do you love about your decade?


  1. I love that I'm not in high school any more. God, I couldn't do that again for anything!

    Thirties are good, I agree. I will admit that I'm not exactly thrilled about the forties, though...and they are really breathing down my neck. :)

  2. OMG, that picture of the plastic surgery looks horrible. That girl looks like a scary mutant. Seriously? OMG, why do that to yourself? I mean, yes there a re a few things if I could afford to change I would, but not go that far to look like I was wearing a mask all the time. Yuck!
    I'm not to my 30's yet. I will be next year {right now I'm 29} and actually kinda scared of turning 30. But hopefully it isn't as bad. You made it sound a little less fearful.
    I had my daughter when I was 24 and it may have been a bit early but it was a lot better then having one at 16. I kinda wish i could have been more prepared and ready to be a mom when I did, but now, I'm more confident and ready for another

  3. Haha, you hit the nail on the head: white Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with bleached blond hair.

    I'm in my mid (soon to be late) twenties. I thought these were supposed to be the best years of my life. If so, I'm so not looking forward to what's ahead.

  4. Can I say how much I love this post? I love it SO MUCH! How lovely to be happy in your own skin. Also, that is one scary looking barbie doll up there!

  5. Wow, I'm in my thirties too and I was really surprised that hitting your sexual peak wasn't on this list. I feel like I've just recently discovered my sexuality - ok 6 years ago now, but it still feels recent. I love sex. I think it started getting really good when I hit 27 and kept improving from there. Yep. Sex. Definitely have to go with that - sex. Sex. Sex! Did I mention... SEX???

  6. love,love your post. Thanks for sharing. Seems to me that we are quite similar in thinking and doing things. You are my future self! ;-) Sonishka ( I saw u on ladybloggers)

  7. First of all, is that first pic for real? Seriously. That IS some crazy PhotoShop creation, right? If not, may God help us all.

    I pretty much spent early twenties doing what you did, i.e. studying like mad. In college, I had no life. And when I attempted to get one by having a little fun, I landed into one of my worse relationships EVER. (Go, me!)

    Even if someone offered me $10 million dollars and a time machine, I STILL wouldn't go back to my twenties. They were a mentally and emotionally tumultuous time that I care not to relive. My thirties are proving to be quite a bit better. Although I still have no money, no guy, and no place of my own, at least I have my sanity... and that's priceless.

  8. That first picture is fucking scary!


Lend me some sugar!