Monday, July 18, 2011

Gas pains

Part kajillion of the farce that is my life:  you wouldn't think pumping gas would be a hazardous activity, but apparently it is for me.  Actually, the possibility of accidentally starting a fiery inferno or being shot by a deranged thief means gas stations aren't exactly havens of security.  But refueling is such a routine activity that I didn't see yet another Little Miss Whoops moment heading my way.


I always pay at the pump, so after I retrieved my violently abused credit card, I put the nozzle away and promptly walked into the gas hatch that I'd left open.  Ouch.  I slammed it shut, and got into the car, rubbing my leg and trying to look like of course I meant to leave the hatch open.  I put the key in the ignition, leaned into my seat and shrieked in agony as a burning, slicing pain exploded across my back. As I jerked forward, another white-hot stab lanced into my back.  WTF!!  All thoughts of the cars patiently waiting for me to move away from the pump were obliterated in a blaze of neurons firing down my spine.


I scrabbled desperately behind me for the source of my torment, and closed my fist around a soft, prickly sphere.  How did I get a burr on me, and why did it hurt so much?  Then the burr shook in my hand and I screamed as I flung that furious bumblebee to Timbuktu.


The drive home was unpleasant and as I leaned stiffly away from the back of the car seat, I consoled myself with the thought that at least this bee sting didn't involve the humiliation of the last one.  That marvelous experience involved junior high, a bee trapped in the fortress of my heavily Aqua-Netted bangs and the very hot older guy who lived near me.  So really, it could be worse.

9 comments:

  1. Ugh, I hate bees and any other bug that stings or bites. I can only imagine what it feels like to be stung in the back of all places. I have had one stuck in my heel once and was dive bombed by one while doing laundry, both of which were horrifying.

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  2. Ouch! But, um, your jr high bee experience sounds TERRIBLE. Not funny AT ALL. I am NOT giggling to myself at the mental image I got while reading about it!

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  3. LOL....aqua net bangs!! Thats awesome! What are the odds a bee ends up between your back and your seat? I only seen it happen once...with my mom and a yellow jacket. She is is allergic (I suddenly am too after sitting in a bees nest at 9 getting stung 42...yes 42 times)....I had to take over the car at 14 and drive her to the ER. It was crazy! So yes...it could have been worse. :)

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  4. OMG - bees scare the crap out of me. I've never been stung, and your story makes me even more scared. It sounds like the worst pain ever.

    Great, now I have another reason to have to fully inspect my car before getting into it, haha

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  5. oh, man, what a day! Stupid bee...stupid gas hatch.

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  6. Ouch!

    My one and only bee sting...at the beach club on a crowded week-end, on my rear-end as I sat down on my beach chair. Of course, my painful screams made everyone look and, as it swelled to a red lump, I was the "butt of jokes" for the rest of the day.

    Hey, at least you remembered to close the hatch! How many people do you see, on a daily basis, driving along with the gas door open, minus the gas cap?

    Bee...careful!

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  7. Haha, well, it isn't funny, but how you tell it is!! Stupid bee, stupid gas station, stupid cars behind you :) Hope your day just got better from there on out!! Hey, you won the Texas, Germany, Canada prize package!! Email me when you can, and I will get this bad boy out :)
    TexaGermaNadian (at) gmail (dot) com

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  8. that sounds positively awful! reminds me of when i felt a terrible pain in my back while driving, but it was caused by me throwing a cigarette butt out the window, but it swooped back in & burned a track of blackness & pain down my back. served me right.

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Lend me some sugar!