Thursday, July 7, 2011

Warm in the night

I was cold as a stone.  Questions swirled around me in a toxic haze, steadily scouring away my foundation.  It wobbled under my feet, and I rushed to the book, flipping desperately through the pages for my lost security.  Every word shoving me further off balance. 

Because there's hate where I saw love.  He kissed him and they cuddled their baby and it was beautiful.  A child in this life warm and healthy and adored and I couldn't see the abomination at all.  The newspaper flashing terrible images of rape and murder and no vengeance angel filled the sky with fury, dashing warlords against the rocks.  The wicked prosper.

And I danced an intricate pattern, feet skidding across the platform, arms windmilling for balance amongst the minefields.  I refuse to believe XY is innately superior to XX, and I will not hold my tongue.  You created a world of fireworks and then told us to close our eyes to the blazing glorious sky.  The vibrant colours seared against my eyelids and I couldn't resist anymore; I looked and spheres of exotica exploded around me as the universe burst outward in a kaleidoscopic shudder of joy.

Cage shattered, I stepped out in wonder.  I was free.


I wrote this in response to an Indie Ink writing challenge from Debra, whose prompt was "Let Freedom Ring!"  I challenged Bran with "waking up for the last time."  Since this is something I hesitate to write about, it fits with the red writing hood link-up as well, which asked us to step outside of our comfort zones.

25 comments:

  1. Interesting use of the prompt. I enjoyed reading your words. I wanted to read more. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. My daughter competes in Poetry Out Loud, and this has a loud voice. I could see it and hear it with a radiant passion.
    Not an easy feat.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow! Let me have a chance to wrap my mind around it. Just wow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very descriptive. Almost too much. It took me a while to really get it, but I'm kinda stiff like that. When it did come to me, the realization surprised me!

    Well done. I'd like to see into your mind's eye, to see where this came from.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautifully written. It def painted a picture in my mind.
    Goofy girl I posted your button when I followed you.
    Been a while. lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. Really poignant, visual, strong.

    And yet, words like this -You created a world of fireworks and then told us to close our eyes to the blazing glorious sky- are beautiful, poetic.

    I like the juxtaposition of strength and beauty. You nailed this.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I loved this:
    Questions swirled around me in a toxic haze, steadily scouring away my foundation. It wobbled under my feet, and I rushed to the book, flipping desperately through the pages for my lost security

    What an interesting world you have created.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dang, Ixy. This is powerful. The words always take your breath away. The images and phrases...just wow.

    This ---> The newspaper flashing terrible images of rape and murder and no vengeance angel filled the sky with fury, dashing warlords against the rocks. EXCELLENT.

    And your last lines...the climax of breaking free. Again, wow.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your prose reads like poetry, image and metaphor running strong.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your writing is brilliant Ixy, which is why I feel that you are deserving of a Best Blogger award. I really love the content of your blog so I've given you an award at my latest post. Stroll by my blog to pick it up. You deserve it!:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Awesome - loved the stream of consciousness vibe and almost musical quality of the words and how they flow together. I was reminded of a TV show character I loved - River Tam (Firefly). Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I felt connected to this. You are right to see that there is no abomination in same sex families. Only the ignorant see it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh yes, definitely speechless in a good way. You wrote my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You sure know how to answer a challenge. I love that you combined this with TRDC prompt, and I'm loving seeing more of the people doing the Indie Ink challenge rising to TRDC challenges too.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow, this was a powerful piece. You left me wanting to read more.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow, great rant! I love the visual that this line created: "Every word shoving me further off balance."

    ReplyDelete
  17. The whole section on fireworks builds and builds and culminates with a very powerful visual image.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This was just incredible. I loved it. Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I remembered reading this when you originally posted it. It is beautiful. This time it was the two closing sentences that struck me.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Stunning. True. Beautiful. Such wonderful descriptive words for the emotions you were feeling too!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Adored this the first time you posted it, and so glad to get to read it again. Truly excellent writing. The imagery is still SO strong.

    ReplyDelete

Lend me some sugar!