Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Bad hair and big boobs

I love lists, so when I found Kate Takes 5 and her list linky, I knew I had found my happy place.  This list is supposed to be our top 5 search terms.  I've looked at these before and it was pretty depressing.  You make one reference to big boobs and thongs in months of posts and the only people who come to your blog are guys looking for masturbation material.

Not having looked at my search terms for awhile now, I had hoped my regular writing about things other than mammary glands had paid off.  I was wrong, and I can't even make a proper "top 5" list since the search terms are all kind of the same thing.  So I'm doing a "top 5 categories" of search terms instead...except there are only three.

3)  Pajama jeans 

These really are dreadful, and I hope the people using this search term are looking for a laugh, not shopping online.

2)  Bad hair, as covered by the following two search terms: 
     -hairstyle bad fringe
     -horrible bangs haircut
    
God can only give so many blessings above the waist, and he used all of mine on #1 below.  The hair?  Not so much.

The spectacular finale to my tiny list was triggered by SEVEN separate search terms:

1)  Breasts + big = blog traffic.  Might not be the kind you want though.
     -big boobs
     -boobies
     -girl with big boobs
     -big boobs naked
     -naked big boobs
     -bigboobs

and my number one search term of all time:

SKINNY GIRL BIG BOOBS

This explains why I don't get many comments on my posts - clearly I'm not meeting the needs of my readers.  The thing is, I don't want to meet those needs...WTF did I do to deserve this?

7 comments:

  1. Hahaha! I love to check out my search engine terms! People are seriously crazy.

    You know now your top search is going to be "masturbation material" right? :)

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  2. This was a very amusing read!

    All my above-the-waist blessings are on my head. God forgot to bless my chest.

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  3. As you just read on my blog I am not endowed. God thought it would be funny to make me look like a 12 year old boy in the chest area! lol my friend Elisa always gets the craziest searches on hers also. Mine are always pretty lame.I'm so glad you came over I lost your button when I changed my background. I was hoping you'd visit!

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  4. I'm also sometimes surprised, and disturbed!, by my searches. This week's best (worst?): How to heal a sore. I really don't know where that came from.

    I have no boobs to speak of so that doesn't pop up :D

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  5. Pajama Pants! OMG I saw these in person the other day and they were terrible. I could not remember what they were called for the life of me. LOL
    When I read your list of the types of boobs looked for I laughed so hard. I get hits for Naked Niece all the time...ICk. because I mentioned once that my niece runs around naked. I even changed the name of the blog post yet I still get 'em.

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  6. Ha! I don't think you've done yourself any favours with this post. Expect your traffic to rise and rise...

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  7. LOL @ your hair! Is it really like that? You'll need a hair makeover if it is! Haha! How about the pajama jeans that will give you more laughs than appreciation? And I have to admit, your search terms makes me crazy. LOL @ Breasts + big = blog traffic! :D

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Lend me some sugar!