Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Oops! My vagina's out

Being a total meme monster, I decided to continue indulging myself this week and do the WTF meme

Here we go:

1) MTV is holding an open casting call for its show "The Real World" today at an Oklahoma City Hooters. Have you ever tried out or would you ever try out for a reality TV show?

I'd be an awesome reality star - freakishly honest and weird in general, but in a cute, slightly skanky way.  Like Snooki but smarter.  And without the vajayjay-flashing and constant state of drunkenness.  What was the question again?

2) When was the last time you lost your temper in public? What set you off?

My temper is a fearsome thing that I try not to inflict on the unsuspecting public.  I've been successful at this for most of my post-teenage years, with some notable exceptions.  Last year I had a serious Mama Bear moment and contributed to the emotional scarring of some poor kid *hangs head*. 

More recently, while I was miscarrying my first twin on my close friend's wedding day, I had an altercation with a sales girl at Ardene who allowed someone to blatantly shove in front of me and then tried to blame me when I asked her why she was ignoring me.  My voice may have gotten a teensy bit above normal volume and given my emotional state at the time, she should be thankful she only got a verbal smackdown.  And that reminds me - I have a complaint letter to write.  I'm not done with that bitch.

3) Everyone around me is talking about getting flu shots and saying I should get one, which I refuse to get one. Do you get flu shots each year?

Yes.  I haven't had the flu in the years I've got the shot and have had the flu in the years I didn't get the shot.  Sold.

4) Today (Oct. 19) is Hagfish Day. Hagfish are believed to be one of the world’s ugliest living creatures. What is another animal you think is really ugly?

This thing.  Hope I don't have nightmares tonight.

5) Spike TV held its annual Scream Awards last weekend giving the Harry Potter movie series its "Ultimate Scream" prize. What was the last movie that made you want to scream?

Mr and Mrs Smith kind of made me want to scream in a "Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie making out is so hot I can't stand it" way.  I detest horror movies, so the last movie that might have scared me into screaming was Splice.  Thought-provoking and seriously creepy.

6) Today is Evaluate Your Life Day. On a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the best it could be and 1 being horrible, what would you rate your life at this moment?

This is a hard one given recent events.  But I still have hope and the fact is I live in a first-world country and have a good job, happy marriage, beautiful baby girl and my health.  I think that's worth at least an 8.

7) Last week, the CW angered many fans of its show "The Secret Circle" and of the book series the show is based on by killing off one of the main characters only five episodes into the series. Have you ever gotten angry (or sad) over the death of a fictional character?

In junior high, I actually wrote in my diary about the stress of watching Brenda and Jagger's romantic trials on General Hospital.  That should tell you something (disturbing) about how invested I get in fictional characters.  I still haven't gotten over the fact Buffy and Angel didn't get together in the end (although at least no one died, permanently at least).   Watching Simba cuddle under dead Mufasa in the Lion King made me tear up this weekend.  What can I say?  I'm not a robot.

8) Walmart recently announced that it is bringing its layaway program back for the holiday season. Will you be placing any gifts on layaway this year (at Walmart or any other store that has layaway)?

So many Wal-Mart jokes came to mind, I couldn't even type for a few minutes there.  I don't really have the patience for layaway.  Once I decide to buy something, I want it in my hot little hands right away.


  1. Oh that Snooki :) I'm glad you're keeping that thing tucked away Ixy...your anger too :D

  2. OF COURSE they are holding real world auditions at Hooters. MTV you never fail to amaze. I mean, I couldn't NOT look at this post after seeing the title. Too funny girl

  3. i've heard a lot about snooki, but have never seen or heard her words of wisdom. no wonder people are obsessed with her. she's a fountain of insane skankiness. and now i'm on the lookout for a chance to say that i need to double-panty-it. i'm not sure what it means, but i like it.

  4. I'm such a junkie when it comes to The Real World. I always wanted to go on it, but since it's just a giant beauty contest now I never bothered to try out.

    It's funny how we get stressed out about situations on our favorite television shows. Grey's Anatomy had me stressed out quite a few times, before it started getting super crappy.

  5. Great title for your post, that's one way of pulling the readers in. What is a Snooki?

  6. OH. Oh my god. I just watched the Snookie clip. The very definition of shit show. Wow.


Lend me some sugar!