Thursday, October 20, 2011

The ashes of hate

His mind wandered.  The ridges pressing into his back have grown comfortably numb, and he's lost interest in the icy stars gleaming above him in the dark sky.  Nothing to do but wait.

He remembered his mother hugging him and kissing his cheek as he squirmed out the front door and climbed into a waiting minivan.  Everyone shouting and laughing, telling fart jokes and tackling each other in boisterous headlocks.  The hood of his shiny red go kart flashed in the sun and he slammed his foot to the floor with a jubilant war cry, sling shotting past his friend.  Holding his trophy proudly in the air, his future was limitless.

Seasons spun through tobogganing parties, baseball and soccer post-game burgers and hot dogs, until suddenly he was standing on the side of a pool, forcing his shaking lips into a smile while the taunt ricocheted around his head.  The hooting in the air buffeted him away from his friends as he stood in silent bewilderment, wondering how he had become Monster Moobs.

The insistent beat of loneliness marked the passing years and he swallowed his rage until it filled everything, leaving him gasping for breath walking up the landing to his dingy apartment.  Slowly the brawls had died out as his anger seeped away, leaving only a mild interest in the daily jabs.  On the way here tonight, he had simply picked up the McDonalds wrapper that had bounced off his head and put it in the garbage, as the frat boy mob drove off, laughing hysterically. 

He had closed his eyes while reminiscing, pretending he hadn't noticed the increasing vibration underneath him until his rescue was finally here.  White hot light burned through his lids and he took a deep breath of relief as the world exploded at last.

* * * * *

For the Indie Ink writing challenge this week, Jen O. challenged me with "love, hate and indifference" and I challenged Indie Adams with "misguided redemption."


  1. Wow, you did a great job of showing the evolution of this character, from self-confident, included young boy to isolated, lonely young adult. How quickly being bullied and teased can erode how a person views himself and his worth. Well done!

  2. I love the last line: White hot light burned through his lids and he took a deep breath of relief as the world exploded at last.
    It reminds me of a song - Preaching the end of the world, by Chris Cornell.
    My challenge was incredibly timed this week. I'd love your feedback on the writing.


Lend me some sugar!