Monday, November 7, 2011

Horrible bosses, horrible kids

One of the best things about blogging sort of anonymously is the ability to freely bitch about work, and boy do I need it today.  My crazy coworker has been especially evil lately and even seems to realize it herself, because she's been posting things like "I want to run away" and "Wine is cheaper than therapy" on her Facebook status.  Dear God, please do something before I fucking throttle you.

Today the work bullshit came from a different source...straight from the CFO's ass.  To give you some context, I'm a chartered accountant working as a finance manager in an insurance company.  Getting to this stage in my career took a lot of hard work, tears and relinquishing any semblance of a social life for several years.  I wanted to provide opportunities for my future family that I didn't have growing up, and to know that I was self-sufficient and could make my own way in the world.

All that hard work paid off this afternoon.  I was researching some accounting standards and writing up a memo on value in use methodology for the impairment of goodwill...OK, come back, I promise I'll stop!  Anyway.  I was working on this analysis for my boss when the CFO came in and said "Starbucks?"  "No thanks," I said, to which he replied, "I wasn't asking."  He then told me what he would like in his coffee and directed me to send out an e-mail to the entire department getting their orders and go fetch the coffee.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.  40 years of feminism and this is still what you think your highly educated female manager should be doing with her time.  FUCK YOU.

this movie is way too close to reality for my liking

Bet you were wondering how kids fit into this, as billed in the title of this post.  The following article is how the parents in my corner of the world have been raising my daughter's future classmates.  I don't know whether to cry or scream.

By Jordan Chittley at The Daily Buzz:

Most children can't wait to collect candy on Halloween night, but when homeowners don't hand out treats some dire consequences can follow.

Some kids calling themselves Children of the Hood wrote a letter to one homeowner in Canada explaining that he missed Halloween and left the letter in his mailbox. They write that the lady who used to own the house handed out candy apples, "but last night there were no candy apples. Come to think of it there was no candy at all from your home!"

The kids explain the mistake and say the homeowner can fix it next year by passing out chocolate bars. They say they will understand he probably can't make candy apples because he is a guy and that they receive too many bags of chips so chocolate bars are the perfect solution. Another way to rectify the issue is for the homeowner to deliver candy to the children on Saturday because they will probably have eaten all of their candy from Halloween by then.

But the homeowner didn't deliver any candy, instead he posted the note on Kijiji saying he is looking for the author.

"Dear Children of Entitlement (and likely their parents)," starts the Kijiji post. "You have gone ahead and reminded me of why I do not want children, and why I weep for the future."

The homeowner says he was not home on Halloween and has bought a huge amount of candy, which he will enjoy with his friends on Saturday.

What.the.fuck.  Please tell me it's a full moon today, because I need to believe this insanity is temporary!


  1. Wow.
    Did you end up getting Starbucks for the douchebag? And maybe hawk up a little phlegm creamer for it, too?

  2. i like al's idea. phlegm creamer sounds just about right for that doof.
    my parents would have made me write a letter of apology and had it printed in the newspaper if i'd been the author of that letter when i was a kid.

  3. This post makes me simultaneously want to weep for the past and for the future. So what did you say to the CFO??

  4. Please tell me you told him to get his own fucking coffee? Or at least tell me that you had no choice, you HAD to go get it, but you peed in his, and then you told your boss and now the douchebag has been made your secretary for the next six months?

  5. Send him a copy of your contract and smile and say 'oh I'm sorry I didn't realise you were asking politely whether it'd be a nice idea for the whole office to have coffee together. But hey, I'm really busy right now so perhaps you could go instead?!' Smile sweetly and imagine kicking him.

    Oh, and wretched little varmits. It's his choice anyhow but clearly they don't deserve any!

    Go breathe and think happy thoughts. Or just eat chocolate. ;)

  6. Oh yeah I would have asked if that was in my contract. Really?

    I love the letter the homeowner posted. That is so cool. My guess is someone in his own neighborhood.


Lend me some sugar!