Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Where's the zipper on this thing?

Later this week I'm planning to return to the gym and I'm so excited, I get all tingly just thinking about it. It was a long, stressful pregnancy and being banned from sex, exercise and vodka made me a little crazier than usual. I tried to drown the crazy with ice cream, but it didn't work and everyone had to just deal with it and pray for the psycho-hormone-triggering baby to come out of me, like an exorcism. This blessed event took place 6 weeks ago, and I (and my 28 extra pounds) am slowly returning to a baseline level of madness. Blarg.

The problem with being a former knobby-kneed wonder is that I want to shriek at everyone who sees me: "I don't really look like this!  I'm wearing a fat suit for an anti-bullying documentary and you'd better be nice because the hidden camera is tracking your every smirk, bub!" Except I can't get the damn suit off and my knees have been knobless for a good 10 years now.  Since the 28 pounds are more like 48 if you want to go back to university days, which I do. Oh God, do I.

So it's put up or shut up time. The baby shop is closed and I need to decide if this is the ass I want to haul around for the next 40 years. I'm thinking no. In which case it's time to dig out the heart rate monitor and get starving moving again. Hurray!! Participation ribbons all around!


  1. It was a grand day when the baby shop closed on my end - so congratulations to you! :0)

  2. Isn't it fun to be back into thinking fitness and health after being unable to for awhile? I used to workout during my son's nap time (at home) but that nap has ceased to exist as of summer. So now I'm in the process of figuring out what to do next. Good luck!

  3. Perhaps your knobby knees are with my knobby knees out in the great unknown where knobby knees go when they die. I miss my knobby knees, unjiggly upper arms, and thighs that don't rub together when I walk. Good luck with the working out!

  4. I'm always kind of amazed at just how much change my body went through during and after pregnancy.

    I even had to give up wearing contact lenses for about a year after my daughter was born. My optometrist said that being pregnant had changed the shape of my eyes!

  5. After our second child was born, Mrs. Penwasser decided she didn't want to haul her ass around anymore.
    But, I stuck around anyway.

  6. Of course that was a long time ago (but I'm STILL around).
    Now we're empty-nesters. And, even though it was initially very sad, I'm started to like being able to walk around the house in my underwear without skeeving anyone out (except, quite probably, Mrs. Penwasser).

  7. Good luck! I haven't had kids, but my body is definitely not like it used to be. I need to get back to a gym, too.


Lend me some sugar!