In a moment of pure blogging insanity, I decided I should supplement NaBloPoMo by joining IComLeavWe this month. So in addition to posting every day, responding to comments and supporting my fellow NaBloPoMo'ers (that's fun to say - haha!) at Yeah Write by reading and commenting on their blogs, I will be reading and commenting on the blogroll for International Comment Leaving Week. And of course my Type A personality has reared her deranged head and decided I should try to reach Iron Commenter status, ie commenting on the entire blogroll every day for the next seven days. There are 75 blogs on the list.
I'm not sure what personality defect I have that compels me to take virtually anything I enjoy and make it as difficult as possible, and then preferably attach scores to it so I can beat myself up if I fail. Being a perfectionist as well is a recipe for a nervous breakdown, which I have narrowly avoided on several occasions as a direct result of this behaviour. Another recent example came through my volunteer position on the board of directors of a small financial institution.
I was considering leaving the board at the end of my second term because I was feeling the time crunch from working full-time in a career with significant overtime (I'm a chartered accountant), parenting a two year old, working out to lose the baby weight and volunteering on the board as well. Then I got pregnant with my second child and of course when they asked me if I would not only continue for a third 3-year term, but actually chair the board, I chirped, "Absolutely!"
Fortunately during the summer I came to my senses and told them (with a deep sense of disgust in my weakness for wanting sleep and other non-essential things) that I would not be able to chair the board after all, and that I would be leaving the board as of the next annual general meeting in April 2013. I couldn't quite bring myself to admit that I was exhausted now, not in April 2013, so while caring for a toddler and a newborn, I've also been attending board meetings, chairing a sub-committee, attending another sub-committee and helping draft policies for director training. Every time someone asks who would be willing to volunteer for some new task, I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from idiotically bouncing up and shouting "Me! Me!"
But sometimes fate intervenes and forces me to stop doing this to myself. Remember the Google/Blogger shunning where I can't comment on blogs that don't have a name/url option? I just got a message from the IComLeavWe moderator saying I can't be an Iron Commenter if I don't comment on every single blog, period. Which makes total sense, because my shunning problem would knock a lot of blogs off the list and it wouldn't be fair. She suggested doing something in Firefox, but I'm not even sure what that is (remember my IT skills?) so it looks like Iron Commenter status is not going to happen. Which kind of makes me not want to do IComLeavWe at all.
It's a sickness; it really is. I wonder if I'll ever be cured.