Thursday, November 22, 2012

Put your drinks up

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends. Here in Canada, I'm thankful that Natalie at Ohemgee chose NOT to use Thanksgiving as the theme for her Coffee Talk linky today. Between the blogosphere and Facebook and the fact we in Canada celebrated Thanksgiving a month ago, I'm ready to move on to Christmas. Or maybe just have a brief period of time where every discussion is not focused around a holiday.

Anyway. Here are the questions this week and my witty responses. Enjoy.

1) What is your favourite drink called? What are the ingredients in it?

Water. And the ingredients are...water. Oh, you meant with alcohol? It's been so long I'd forgotten what that was. The whole three pregnancies and breastfeeding two infants in the last two years put a bit of a damper in my alcohol consumption.

Joking aside, I've never been a big drinker. If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you know I'm naturally a little crazy; alcohol has always seemed redundant. I was quite a party girl back in the day, but the designated driver kind of party girl: I just went to the clubs for the dancing. My favourite drinks are Bacardi Breezer tropical orange smoothies, chocolate martinis, sex on the beach and the good old break-in-the-virgin-gently fuzzy navel.

Peach schnapps + orange juice = fuzzy navel. Told you it was gentle.
Peach schnapps + orange juice + vodka + cranberry juice = sex on the beach. Getting rougher.
Vodka + creme de cacao = chocolate martini. Oh yeah.
2) How old were you when you first got drunk?

Nineteen, Canada's legal drinking age. I thought I got drunk before then, but it turns out a 1/4 inch of rum in a giant glass of Coke doesn't actually result in intoxication and my participation in a shopping cart race down a hill later that night was due to the placebo effect, not drunkenness.

3) Name an embarrassing moment about you or your friends that occurred while drinking.

The first time I was dancing on the ledge overlooking the dance floor at a club and I lost my balance and fell off. The second time this happened was at my bachelorette party and I was so drunk that I thought I was flying, not falling, so instead of being embarrassed I yelled "Whee!!" the whole way down. Then I lay happily on the floor in the foam (it was a foam party) until my bridesmaids came and dragged me out.

Miraculously, they let me into the club after we left the pool hall shown here, despite the fact I was no longer perpendicular to the floor and covered in feathered boas. Then again, it was a foam party.

4) What is your favourite party drinking game?

I don't have one. I think I used to, but I can't quite remember what it was, not surprisingly.

5) Are you a happy drunk? Sad drunk? Sleepy drunk? Paranoid drunk? or other?

I am a very, very happy, affectionate, drunken exhibitionist until I abruptly fall asleep wherever I happen to be at the time. I strongly believe that alcohol just loosens inhibitions rather than magically turning you into some other person. So if you become a huge bitch when you're drunk, honey, you ain't that nice underneath it all. In my case I keep the bitch on the outside, but alcohol brings out my inner (slightly slutty) sweetheart.

6) Are you a hard drinker (straight liquor, shots, etc.)? Fruity drinker (daiquiris, mixers, etc)? not a drinker at all? or Other?

See above. I tend to be the designated driver, because my husband enjoys drinking more than I do and if I'm not with him, I'm driving myself home. When I do drink, it's usually fruity, but I'm not opposed to shots. I usually get drunk, unlike in my 20's. That's because I rarely go out anymore, so I know I'd better live it up because who knows when the occasion will come around again.

I miss dancing (no alcohol required) in a club instead of just at zumba. But I don't have anyone to go with: my husband has never liked clubbing, my girlfriends are no longer interested and I think it's weird/dangerous to go out dancing alone. But geez, I'm 34, not 84. Is the party really over already?


  1. I love you. You and I need to meet up and hang out. You are my best friend all the way.

    Sex on the beach was my very first fruity drink I fell in love with. I drank it soooooooo much that now I hate it! I do however, love this drink called "hunch punch". It's just a mixture of any beer & alcohol you can find laying around the house... it tastes so FUCKING good!!! To bring out the good tasty fruity drink of it you gotta mix it with a can of Hawaiian fruit punch! You know! The one with tons of Red 40 in it! And if you are a mom like me.. you know what red 40 is!

    I am a HUGE slutty sweetheart when I am drunk! HAHA!

    1. That would be awesome and you never know! I don't know if I could handle the hunch punch because I hate beer. But maybe if it were mixed with fruity stuff? Hmm.

  2. I can honestly say I've never fallen off of anything while drunk. That I can remember.

    1. Haha! I like the clarification at the end. I fall down pretty regularly when I'm not drunk, so it's no surprise that alcohol results in epic klutziness.

  3. If we lived closer, I'd totally go dancing with you! My husband doesn't like it, either. Of course, your dancing skills would put mine to same, so maybe it's best we don't live near each other.

    I sure hope that the party is FAR from over. :)

    1. I think there will always be a party, in my head at least. I'll be the life of the nursing home!

  4. Ooh, chocolate martini! I could definitely go for one of those :) I am not much of a drinker. It's just not my thing. I used to be embarrassed about it, but now I just get my diet coke and enjoy it. Occasionally I'll have alcohol, but I just have to be in the mood.

    1. People get really freaked out when you just drink water. I even got pressured to drink on a job interview! It was a lunch meeting at a restaurant and the interviewer said, "It's not a test; you really can order a drink if you want." I refrained and surprisingly got the job in spite of my non-imbibing ways.

  5. WHERE was this interview and how can i get one there!?

    1. I'm an accountant and it was for a job at an insurance company! Pretty crazy, right? A few years later the CFO got fired in part due to the impact of his alcoholism on his job performance. I'm pretty sure they don't encourage job applicants to drink at the interview anymore.


Lend me some sugar!