Sunday, December 9, 2012

Goody two shoes

Well, that was a complete failure. Back when I had a larger blog, I used to think I'd like to start a blog hop but never actually did it. Now I'm starting over and thought the chance to co-host an established hop would be a good way to meet new people and gain some exposure. I was a little hesitant about the mandatory following, because I want people to join up because they're interested in what I write and want to have a conversation about it, not because them's the rules. But I figured people would follow, read a few posts and then decide whether they wanted to keep reading or not.

It was not to be. Of the 96 other people in the hop so far, about 20 people have signed up for my blog (thank you and I will be visiting shortly!). I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. More like vodka: intense and may make you alternately giddy and nauseous. So I didn't expect all the hoppers to continue reading indefinitely. I did expect them to join and give me a chance to be all shiny and shit over the next week or so. Also because, um, that was the RULE. As in:

"Rules for the Weekend Blog Walk are simple:

1) Follow your Co-Hosts (1-4 on the Linky) via GFC, Feedburner, Facebook, Twitter and/or Pinterest. Please leave a comment if you are a new follower."

I've suspected for some time that I was in the minority with my rule-following ways. Standing in a long line at the grocery store checkout with my nine items, I've mournfully watched people stroll through the 1-8 item express checkout with their twelve items. I've tried to figure out how to open the public bathroom door without touching it, after seeing Miss Nasty saunter out of her stall and right past the sinks to the door with nary a second glance at me scrubbing my hands. I've struggled to hoist my nine months pregnant belly out of the car, dreading the long shuffle through the August heat to the store entrance, while glaring at the 50ish yoga pants-clad woman walking away from her car parked in the "Expectant mothers and parents with small children" spot right in front of the store. And on it goes.

I'm starting to feel like this guy, but cuter:

http://www.corcodilos.com

My mother used to tell me not to worry about things like this, because God would make everything fair in the end. Even at nine years old I was skeptical of this theory. As far as I can tell, people who take without giving just end up with more stuff. So I'm torn. Should I abandon all consideration for other people and societal norms and reap the obvious benefits? Or should I continue being a good girl and listen to my conscience?

That was a rhetorical question; I already know what you're going to say. After all, it's not fun if everyone starts breaking the rules, is it? Someone has to hold up the pyramid:

 
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Thanks WeVerb12 for the prompt. Even though I didn't quite follow it:

Do you actively listen to your inner voice/conscience? Describe a time this year you heard and responded to it.

29 comments:

  1. Another good one! I am sooo with you on this! I figure that I just do what is right ONLY because it makes me feel good. Thats it, thats all. Because any other reason depends on others, or God. My SSG use to say "Don't fight it, just let it happen" (NOT as creepy as it sounds, trust me)

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    1. It seems to be pretty deeply ingrained. I wouldn't even say it feels good; I just don't think twice about it.

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    2. Also - do you have a blog url? I haven't been able to find one for you and I'd like to visit.

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  2. Oh man, I am such a rule follower, it makes me sick! When other people break them, I'm always like, "but we're supposed to...!" Much of the time, it doesn't even occur to me to break the rules. I try not to get ticked when others are lax, because others will always be lax, and I guess no one is forcing me to be a rule follower. But part of the problem for me is, on the occasions when I have broken rules, I am the one with the dumb luck to get caught or called out. So, back to following rules...it's what the universe wants from me ;)

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    1. Yep, that getting caught business doesn't help. I've also gotten in trouble on the rare occasion I haven't followed the rules. Then I'm really pissed off! Argh.

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  3. Keep the rules - I too, find myself hearing a small inner voice telling me how I should stick with the convention and remain within the Way Things Are Meant To Be.

    Yes you might feel resentful of all the 'stuff' you might be missing out on, but being shallow and being satisfied with the 'stuff' is little compensation for the loss of conscience, even if they don't know it.

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    1. Much as I might like to flout the rules of life, I just don't feel good about myself when I do it. So I think I'm stuck with my good behaviour. Well, other than the swearing.

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  4. I never do blog hops with rules because I don't like the mandatory follows. It never occurred to me to do the hop without following the rules! I guess I'm a rule follower, too. :) Surprising there were that many that didn't, though.
    I so enjoyed your pyramid.

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    1. I only do a few of them for the same reason. I don't like my reader being clogged up with posts that don't interest me. So I didn't expect the blog hop participants to keep reading if we didn't have anything in common.

      But I'm honestly shocked that 80% of the people who linked up to promote their blog didn't feel they needed to follow the rules of the hop. Like you, it just never would have occurred to me to link up and ignore the rules! The thing is, I don't really want to get to know people who behave like this anyway. Lesson learned and I'm moving on.

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    2. It is frustrating. Admittedly, I don't have time to visit everyone I follow as often as I would like to, or I would get nothing else done, but I do pop in when I can and wander around, and I think from my comments that it's clear I'm actually READING the material rather than just clicking on the page - saying "nice job," "great recipe," "cute scarf," etc. which could mean I just looked at the picture and kept moving. I interact where/when I can and appreciate others who do the same. And yes, I am frequently annoyed by those 32 item people in the express lane, people waiting until they hit the road construction lane merge before moving over into one open lane, don't wash on their way out of the restroom, and my personal favorite ... wearing gloves at a bakery, fast food joint, etc. while they pick up your food AND handle change AND ... are they wearing the gloves to protect your food or their hands??? LOL

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    3. I know; I don't get around to everyone I follow as often as I'd like either, but I do the best I can. I really like reading other people's blog as much as I enjoy writing my own.

      That glove thing...they are not supposed to do that. When I worked at McDonald's as a teen, you were supposed to wash or sanitize between handling unpackaged food and money. Money is filthy!

      And thanks for the award! I haven't forgotten :)

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  5. I do follow rules, especially if it was for a blog hop or a giveaway people do on their blogs. I prefer not to have to follow a blog to be part of a hop or a giveaway so usually if that's one of the rules I'll pass on participating. I have a lot of problems with the follow blog thing in the first place too. You go and look at a blog and they have 3000 followers and get three comments per average on their posts. I like to develop friendships through blogging so that's probably why I don't do a lot of blog hops.

    betty

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    1. I feel the same way and have ranted about the follow me/follow you thing before. But I thought maybe I was being closed minded and I should try co-hosting one and see what happened. I've noticed before that when I've joined those types of hops, very few people seem to visit or return a comment.

      But I was really surprised that people wouldn't visit one of the hosts. My instincts were right and I'd rather have fewer people following and really getting to know them than numbers that never say anything.

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  6. I'm the same way, but I think part of it is that I have OCD tendencies. On the other hand, I haven't participated in those types of blog hops where you have to follow the co-hosts, etc. It feels too much like all of those strangers who wanted to be my "friend" on MySpace. Yes, MySpace. I don't have a lot of followers, but I'd like them to at least be interested in my blog if they're going to follow me. Quality not quantity.

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    1. I'm a believer in quality not quantity too - after all, I'm not looking to make money from my blog. It's just for fun. This experience has definitely put me off of the bigger follow me hops.

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  7. Wow, how did I miss this? I had an off week and missed a lot of my favorite bloggers' posts, including yours, and I totally would have linked up AND followed the fucking rules, too. I am with you on that one. Sorry about the bad blog taste in your mouth. Wish I hadn't been such a slacker last week and I would have joined you. :(

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    1. Aw, thanks Stephanie. Actually I'm glad I did it, because it confirmed for me once and for all to avoid these types of hops. It pisses me off that I paid $10 to guest host a hop where 80% of the people linked up and didn't bother to follow me, but like I said before, I don't want to get to know those people anyway. I have a few hops and communities I really enjoy and have met such wonderful people (like you :)) through those. That's more than good enough.

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    2. What? You had to pay $10 to host the hop???? That's a load of crap, imo. We should start our own blog hop. People can send us their prescription meds if they want to host. ;)

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    3. Yeah, seriously, am I an idiot that I didn't realize you had to PAY to host the hop? Bullshit.

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    4. I don't think you usually have to pay. I'm just a big sucker who picked a hop that you had to pay for followers who didn't follow. I told myself it was like advertising, but now I feel like a failed blog prostitute.

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  8. Sorry you didn't get a better response to your blog hop. I'm trying a slow and organic approach with a weekly link-up on Tuesday's. Over several months, it's helped my readership grow a little.

    My best readership build-up has come from participating in weekly link-ups on other blogs. Like TALU. Again, it's taken months for that really to have an effect. But I'm starting to feel like I have an audience.

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    1. It's so nice when you find a hop or community where you can make real connections. I guess you have to sort through the shallow hops to find the good stuff.

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  9. I love how Paris Hilton is at the top of the pyramid! :)

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    1. So perfect, right? She came to mind immediately.

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  10. Hi Azara. I'm afraid I'm with you in most of your rule-followin' ways, and I know I'll never change.

    Though I have to say I don't follow other bloggers, whether "them's the rules" or not, unless I want to. Color me rebel.

    Thanks for joining up with the TALU!

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    1. Yeah, I don't do many of those hops because I don't like mandatory following. It's nothing personal to those people if we don't have much in common. But I would never link up to a hop that asked for a follow and then not follow. If they're giving me an avenue to promote my blog and are asking for a follow in return, then I think it's really disrespectful to take the opportunity without giving the follow if it's requested. There are lots of "no-rules" hops for those of us who don't like the mandatory following.

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  11. I don't participate in hops where you are instructed to follow certain people. Yes it is great because your following count goes up, but most of that count are not true readers and will never be back. However, those that DO join these type hops should follow the rules. I have found there are a lot of things unfair in the blogging world, just like in life. Hang in there. Oh and I LOVED the infographic. Very funny! (Talu)

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    1. So true! I have a fairness complex, unfortunately. Glad you enjoyed the pyramid - it was fun to make :)

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Lend me some sugar!