Monday, December 31, 2012

Like, totally yummy

This week's Monday Listicle prompts were so awesome that I couldn't choose just one. Kate at Another Bottle of Whine submitted three suggestions for the group: 10 things totally 80s, 10 crushes or 10 tweets. Since I'm new to Twitter, I decided to split my list between the first two. At first I was going to alternate, but it hurt my brain to flip between my very adult crushes and the stuff I liked when I was 10 years old, so I had to do them separately.

1) Bike shorts
The recent '80s revival has been vastly entertaining to me in the area of fashion. You'd think the current generation of tweens and teens would have learned from our mistakes, but apparently not. Did this kind of fiasco really need to be repeated?
 
This is NOT me. This is some unfortunate etsy.com model, where I got this picture from.

 Removing the neon does not improve the situation:

http://www.fooyah.com
Unless you are an Olympic athlete and forced into such a get-up in pursuit of a gold medal, don't go there. It doesn't matter whether you're 10 or 40. Just say no.
 
2) New Kids On The Block
Every generation thinks their boy band is the only legitimate phenomenon. The other ones are just ridiculous pretenders. 'N Sync? The Monkees? Puh-leeze. It's all about New Kids On The Block. More specifically, Donnie Wahlberg. I've always had a self-destructive attraction to the naughty ones...fortunately for my mental health I made an exception for my husband.


3) Gimp bracelets
The summer before Grade Five I became a gimp bracelet ninja. Armed with as much plastic lace as my meager allowance would buy, I produced such works of art that I was able to sell them for large chunks of other people's allowances.
 
The gravy train came to its end when in a moment of breathtaking stupidity, I began selling not only the product itself, but lessons on how to make the product. I didn't realize what I had done until I was sitting at recess with over 30 units of unsold inventory, watching my former customers make their own gimp bracelets. D'oh! 
 
4) Nintendo Duck Hunt and Super Mario Bros.
I didn't have a TV growing up, since my parents believed they stifled creative minds. Also, that they (TVs, not my parents) were tools of Satan. In desperation, I would arrive at my friends' houses at 8AM on Saturday, begging to watch The Smurfs with them and eat Lucky Charms cereal, since sugar was also forbidden at my house. In the afternoon we would settle in for a long session with the first video game superstar:
 
http://www.nesfiles.com
http://www.gamecaseworld.com
5) Tiffany 
The queen of mall pop has been thoroughly mocked over the years, but her songs were wicked catchy and I still love blasting them on a summer drive down the highway.


Now for the adult stuff, my top five crushes. Might want to get a fan.
 
1) Jake Ryan (aka Michael Schoeffling)
Oops, couldn't let the '80s go quite that fast. One of the few '80s hunks who stands up to the test of time, Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles was sweet, sizzling hot and implausibly fascinated by Little Miss Average (aka Molly Ringwald aka me). Ah, fantasies.
 

2-5) Christian Grey
Being a Type A+ control freak who is frequently exhausted and overwhelmed by trying to keep everything and everyone in my little world on track, I find the thought of a man who would take charge and let me rest so alluring that I haven't put down the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy since I first read it in August. Also, the sex is unbelievably hot. Like, best-not-to-read-in-public hot.

The books are being made into movies and the following four gentleman would be very, very nice as Christian Grey.

My number one pick: Ian Somerhalder
 
 
My number two pick: Matt Bomer (just cuz he's gay doesn't mean we can't look too!)
 
 
Also acceptable: Ryan Guzman

 
And I wouldn't rip up my movie ticket if Colin Egglesfield were involved:
 

Mmmm....
What do you mean I have a "type"?
 

33 comments:

  1. Oh how could I have forgotten about the bracelets? Those things were a pain. Your failed business cracked me up.
    And I'm voting for Ian. Those eyes...

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    1. My first business lesson...haha! Ian is definitely my top pick, but really any of them would be just fine.

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  2. Ahhh, you and I would be friends in real life! I am proud to say that my first concert was NKOTB. I of course used to cry angsty nine year old tears listening to TIffany as well, and spent much time playing Duck Hunt and Super Mario Brothers. I recall being very proud that I saved the princess 13 times! (Looo-ser!)
    I so loved this list! Happy New Year, friend!

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    1. Happy New Year to you too! Someone should have a big 80s party where all we do is listen to NKOTB and Tiffany, make gimp bracelets and play video games. Wearing bike shorts would be optional.

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  3. Lol -- I totally forgot about bike shorts. They're just wrong. Wow, who is this Ian Somerhalder? He's pretty hot.

    I almost did the Crushes, too, and Donnie Wahlberg was definitely going to be on the list!

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    1. Ian Somerhalder plays Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries. The show is a little below the age group I'm interested in, but I've been known to watch clips of it online just to admire the pretty.

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  4. Jake. Ryan. That's the 80's, right there. I wonder what happened to him...will have to google. Gimp bracelets!!! That was my life at summer camp. I was never that good at starting them, but was ok once I got going. Duck Hunt. Totally forgot about that! Love your list! Awesome! And I love how you combined them.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It was such a pain when you messed up the beginning of a bracelet and realized it wasn't salvageable, and you had to undo it and start over. And then all the gimp would have these annoying kinks in it...oh, tween problems.

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  5. Holy crap Ian. *fans self* The things I could do to him....oh yes.

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    1. I know. I have even better pics on my Pinterest board, but I didn't want to have to put an "adult content" warning on my blog. When I look at him I can hardly breathe.

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  6. Replies
    1. LOL!! I think I could probably recite every line from Sixteen Candles if someone played the movie and hit the mute button.

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  7. Oh, how I loved your 80s list. I love Jake Ryan. LOVE.

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    1. I know: "Maybe I'm looking for more than a party." Sigh.

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  8. I actually think Matt Bomer has been cast...somehow, I feel like I have read that somewhere.
    Great list!
    I did a whole post a while back all about the yumminess of Jake Ryan! ;)

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    1. Really??!! I regularly stalk the web trying to find out who's been cast. Last thing I read said it was still up in the air and the movie wouldn't be out until 2015 :( I will have to re-investigate.

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  9. OMG...totally forgot about bike shorts! I had some black ones with neon on the sides and I would wear them under my denim ch-off shorts. Jake Ryan..yummy!

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    Replies
    1. I had a dreadful pair of bike shorts that were neon blue on one leg and neon pink on the other. Who thought up these designs?

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  10. We just called those friendship bracelets, and I can't believe I didn't remember them. Wow! They were, like, soooo coool!!

    I was never a big New Kids fan, but I loooooovvvvvved Tiffany! I choreographed dances to at least two of her songs and would listen endlessly to her LP. Yes, I had it as a record, which is how I would have referred to it back then - not vinyl. :)

    I haven't read any of the 50 Shades book, but I'd totally vote for Ian. I'm drooling a little right now at work. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to brighten your workday! It took me awhile to stop calling a new music release a record or album too. My mom had an aerobics record, and my sister and I would dress up in black leotards and do the exercises in our living room. I prefer my current dance studio-based workout.

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  11. Nintendo.... I remember when everyone was playing that. I wasn't. We only had an Atari. My parents never did buy into the gaming stuff. Such a deprived childhoods:D

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    1. Yeah, that whole not having a TV business really put a cramp in my social life. I had no idea what my classmates were talking about half the time.

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  12. So - the red "highlight" around the junk of those guys in the bike shorts really doesn't make it any better ;)
    My pick for Christian Grey would be Christian Bale, hands down!

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    1. Ooh, he does have serious potential!

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  13. Oh my goodness, "What do you mean I have a "type"?" I was seriously thinking, "Are those the same guy?" :)

    And really, who doesn't want a tie dye swirl highlighting their crotch? Ellen

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    1. When I re-read my post after I published it, I burst out laughing because they really do look freakishly similar. You can never have too much of a good thing.

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  14. Oh my I totally remember those bracelets!!! And playing duck hunt and super mario. It was the only game we were allowed to have :)

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    1. I kind of want to play Duck Hunt right now! I wonder if I'd be any better at it now than I was in the '80s.

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  15. So all your picks were probably born in 80' right? I need a drink ;) great list, love it.

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    1. I think they just missed the '80s, except maybe Mr. Guzman. Glad you liked!

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  16. So we have NKOTB and Ian Somerhalder at #1 in common. That's enough for me!! Awesome.

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Lend me some sugar!