Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Beautiful

TRIGGER WARNING

You'd think triggering would feel scary, out of control. It doesn't. It feels fantastic. Maybe because it's been so long and I can't remember the downsides? Right now all I can think of is the taut curve of skin and bracelets shimmering on a delicate wrist. All those dusty clothes sliding smoothly across my body again. That rush of power as I fall asleep, having fought off the snarl inside for another day. Taking control.

I'm going to be beautiful. So beautiful.

4 comments:

  1. this just gave me goosebumps and a wave of nausea served with a side of understanding.

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    1. Is it weird that I focused first on the beauty of how you put this sentence together, and on the content second?

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  2. What is triggering? I don't know what it is, but I think I want to take a shower now.

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    Replies
    1. Basically it's another way of saying "pushing your buttons" or "setting someone off." You may have seen"trigger warnings on blog posts before and it means whatever is being discussed could cause a strong negative reaction in someone who has a problem/past trauma associated with it. In fact, I should have put one on this post and I'm doing it now. It's usually used in reference to discussions of suicide, eating disorders or sexual abuse.


      When I said I'd been triggered, I meant I'd run into some things that have resulted in disordered eating for me in the past.

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Lend me some sugar!