Saturday, February 2, 2013

A cold revenge

Yay!! I'm awake! I can read, I can play with my toys, I can have a peanut butter and apple butter sandwich, I can dance to Mommy's aerobics records in the living room. The possibilities are endless! I can't wait to get started.

Hold on. It's still dark outside. What did Mommy say again?

"Azara. You are NOT to get out of your bed before 7:00AM for any reason. Period. You may get up at 7:30AM if you play quietly in your room, but you may NOT get out of your bed before then."

But I want to get up. There's so much to do and I'm just lying here, missing it all! Maybe she won't notice if I just read in bed. How is that hurting anyone?
 
No. Last time I read in bed Mommy took my book away, right after the Pevensies found out Tumnus the Faun had been arrested, and I had to wait two days to get it back.

Grrr. I'm so BORED. Why doesn't Nicole wake up? At least then I could talk to her. I could kick my heels on the mattress until she wakes up, like last time.

Better not. I don't want to be banned from carob chips for the next week.

I'm bored. I'm bored. I'M SO BORED. What time is it?

7:07AM. ARGH!!!!

And I have to pee. I really have to pee.

Stupid Mommy. Why is she so mean? I'll show her...

Hahaha!

That'll teach her to tell me what to do. It's not even that uncomfortable.

OK, now the pee's getting cold. Maybe this was a mistake. What time is it?

7:11AM.

7:16AM.

Ugh. I'm freezing cold, soaking wet and I smell like the recess washroom. Fourteen minutes to go.

Mommy's going to be SO mad.

* * * *

She was mad, alright. Whenever I talk about the antics of my 2.5 year old hooligan daughter, I can see my mom smirking beside me, no doubt remembering this moment among many others.

Karma's a bitch, y'all. A stubborn, pee-stained bitch.

* * * *

Day 2 of the We Work for Cheese writing challenge - the prompt for today was "hold on". Betcha thought I wasn't going to make it. Puh-leeze.

29 comments:

  1. Of course you peed the bed to show your mom who was boss. I would expect nothing less. Oh, your daughter is going to make you pay.

    My dad and his brother were hellions. My grandma always said she hoped my dad had boys just like him. Her wish was granted in that he had to boys who got into all sorts of trouble. Problem was, my parents divorced when my brothers were very little, so my mom got the brunt of the curse. I think my grandma still feels bad about it.

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    1. I know. I'm afraid! I'm relieved her little brother seems to have taken after his (mellow) dad, rather than me. Your poor mom!

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  2. Noooooooo! I'm afraid that I'm going to pee in the night now that I'm peri-menopausal. I have dreams about that and am then so glad I didn't wet the bed. Getting older sucks!

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    1. That never even crossed my mind. At least if you peed the bed now, it wouldn't be voluntary. Wait...that doesn't sound any better for some reason.

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  3. Love it. Well told. When ya gotta pee, ya gotta pee!

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    1. Yup! Rules and toilet training be damned.

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  4. Glad you made it for the challenge, but I knew you would :)

    I'm sure you didn't repeat that "get at mom" thing again.

    I was a really good kid growing up, but hubby wasn't. So the kids took after him. Not fair at all.......

    betty

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    1. Unfortunately that was not the last of my shenanigans by any means. I was one strong-willed kid. I'd like to know where that willpower is now when I see a carton of ice cream!

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  5. Your mom had aerobics records? You're really much younger than me, aren't you?

    I hate you. ;)

    :)

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    1. 1978 baby here - I don't feel all that young anymore!

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  6. BA ha ha ha ha ha! Maybe that's what my daughter keeps pooping on the floor in her room after telling me, "I want to be alone." What did I do to my mom?!

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    1. Haha! Thank goodness my daughter hasn't started revenge pooping - yet.

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  7. I would've peed the bed for having to eat carob instead of chocolate. I don't know who invented carob, or why it's supposed to be healthier than chocolate, but I think it should've a banned substance.

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    1. Carob is mutant chocolate. The only reason I liked it was because I had so little experience with the taste of real chocolate.

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  8. Oh my, you sure showed her who's the boss. :)

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    1. Yep - until she got up and saw what I'd done.

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  9. The Parent's Curse:

    "I hope you have a child that acts -just like you did-!! :)

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  10. A true learning experience all around!

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    1. Sadly, I'm not sure I learned anything other than that lying in pee is uncomfortable.

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  11. I'm almost 31 and my mom is still the boss ;) I have similar memories, don't have any kids to see them manifest in my reality though - not yet anyway.

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    1. I'm always bemused when adults talk about their overbearing parents. My parents stopped trying to boss me around 15 years ago. Maybe the peeing was more effective than I thought.

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  12. Wow, you were quite the little stinker! I was definitely not a pushing the boundaries kind of kid, although I did always read under my covers with a flashlight. There were some things too important to obey the rules!

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    1. The things I got in trouble for tended to revolve around my pursuit of eating candy or reading. Pretty wild!

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  13. This reminds me of a Margaret Cho routine about wetting the bed. It starts off warm and comfortable enough, but it's never a good idea in the long run. By the way, I had no idea that children could be hooligans at 2.5 years old.

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    1. BWAHAHAHA!!! Most toddlers are tiny lunatics until we wrestle them into submission.

      I find it somewhat disturbing that my life apparently resembles a comedy routine.

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  14. My parents had the 7:30am rule too, but I was always allowed to read if I stayed in bed. I think they figured it would buy them some extra time since I could read for hours if left properly alone.

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    1. Eventually that's where my parents ended up. I don't know why they didn't just let me do that in the first place.

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Lend me some sugar!