Friday, February 1, 2013

More than a couch potato

Once again, the stars have aligned so that I can be lazy and do one post instead of two. Woot woot! For the month of February, I'm participating in a daily posting challenge hosted by We Work For Cheese. The prompt for the first day is, of course, "cheesy".

 
photo credit: Aaron Landry via photopin cc

In a beautiful marriage of blog topics, one of my favourite linkys has chosen their prompt for this Friday as: "When it comes to reality TV shows, I..."

Finish the Sentence Friday

I need to get these prompts a hotel room right now, because baby, they were meant to be.

OK. I promise I'll stop. It's just so hard to resist a cheesy joke sometimes, like my favourite one ever:

"What do you call cheese that's not yours?"

"NACHO cheese!" (must be shouted with a head bob a la Honey Boo Boo)

When it comes to reality TV shows, I know everything there is to know. Except about Survivor, The Bachelor/ette or Toddlers and Tiaras. The adult cattle show bores me (plus they keep picking bachelors that are as hot as oatmeal), and I've boycotted Toddlers and Tiaras ever since I saw a picture of a poor pageant baby dressed as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, the hooker phase. Someone dressed up her three year old as a HOOKER!!! It's moments like these where I wish you had to be licensed to be a parent.

http://www.eonline.com
I know what I want everyone to think of when they see my little girl: a prostitute!
 
Out of curiosity, I decided to list all the reality TV shows I've watched over the years, not counting ones where I've seen only one or two episodes:

1) Real Housewives - all of them
2) The Lofters
3) Paradise Hotel
4) Storage Wars
5) Breaking Amish
6) Jersey Shore
7) America's Next Top Model
8) American Idol/Canadian Idol
9) My Strange Addiction
10) Hoarders
11) So You Think You Can Dance (US and Canada)
12) Temptation Island
13) Average Joe
14) The Swan
15) What Not to Wear
16) A Baby Story
17) Property Virgins
18) House Hunters
19) Property Shop
20) Flip This House
21) The Girls Next Door
22) Pawn Stars
23) Ink Master
24) Project Runway
25) Cake Boss
26) The Sisterhood
27) 16 and Pregnant
28) Teen Mom
29) Laguna Beach
30) The Hills
31) The City
32) Little People, Big World
33) The Little Couple
34) The Apprentice
35) Jon & Kate Plus 8
36) Sell This House
37) My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (UK and US)
38) Starter Wives Confidential
39) Billy the Exterminator
40) The Osbournes
41) Cops
42) The Simple Life
43) Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica
44) Wife Swap
45) Making the Band
46) Pop Stars
47) 8th & Ocean
48) Pioneer Quest
49) Cheer Perfection
50) The Crocodile Hunter
51) Blind Date
52) Meet My Folks
53) For Love or Money
54) Joe Millionaire
55) The Ex-Wives of Rock
56) Pimp My Ride
57) 30 Days
58) Rich Girls
59) My Super Sweet 16
60) House of Carters
61) The Search for the Next Doll
62) Extreme Cheapskates
63) Face Off
64) Millionaire Matchmaker
65) The Week the Women Went
66) Holmes on Homes
67) Python Hunters
68) Til Debt Do Us Part
69) Princess
70) Ballet Girls
71) The Baby Borrowers
72) Bethenny Ever After
73) Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team
74) Denise Richards: It's Complicated
75) High Society
76) Shahs of Sunset
77) I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant

Oh.my.God. This explains everything. No wonder my brain feels like moldy cheese. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I find it interesting to watch stories about lives that are different from mine. See, I'm not a vapid couch potato. I'm a cultural anthropologist.
 
photo credit: misterbisson via photopin cc

75 comments:

  1. A cultural Anthropologist indeed. I mean, how else would we ever learn about other people and their lives?? ;)

    By the way, that first pic of the Pizza... MAN I'm hungry now :P

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    1. I always say that's why I like blogging so much - I can write and learn about other people at the same time. It sounds a lot better when I'm talking about blogs, doesn't it?

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  2. Wow! I didn't even know that many reality shows existed! If you watched all of them, you have to be a reality expert - completely.

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    1. I didn't know that many existed either until now. When the list crossed 50, I couldn't believe it, but I just kept thinking of them So crazy.

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  3. Wow. I'm impressed. I've never caught the reality show bug. The only one I watched is Project Runway which in itself is odd considering I have exactly zero fashion sense. But I really like that defined yourself as a cultural anthropologist. You might want to think about publishing your results. :)

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    1. Hmm. I wonder if there are any lessons to be learned from this list. I shall ponder this - thank you!

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  4. OK, so that is a long list of reality show watching. But it's not like you watch them all now, or at the same time, right? And I think I'm trying to defend you because I have watched many of the same shows. I never would have been able to come up with all of the names, though.
    With a list like that, what's one more? Watch Duck Dynasty once. It cracks me up to no end.

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    1. I think I need all the defence I can get! I'm so tempted to watch Duck Dynasty. Like you said, what's one more at this point?

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  5. Very funny and a few of them like Baby Story and What Not to Wear, I watched and didn't even think of them as reality shows and just forgot they were in the genre until I read your post. Thanks so much for linking up with us!! :)

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    1. Thanks for co-hosting. FTSF is a great linky!

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  6. OMG I could totally have a slice of that pizza right now and it is 7:57 am. Ok let me scroll up and read the post - you got me stuck on pizza. LOL! Out out your list I decided to count the ones I had never heard of. I never heard of 52 of them! And seriously Denise Richards had a show? Good grief.

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    1. Well, they do go back as far as 2001, and some of them weren't on for long. I can't imagine why not.

      I'm trying not to look at the pizza - I'm starving!

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  7. Cultural anthropologist... LOVE it! Welcome to the madness, Azara. I think you'll feel right at home - it's just like reality television except with blogs. :-)

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    1. Another forum for my craziness - I can't wait to meet my fellow cheeseballs.

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  8. All I can say is, "Holy Shit!" That is a highly impressive list, and I can't believe you could remember all of them! It must have taken forever! I had forgotten about a lot of those... Of them all, I have to say my favorite is So You Think You Can Dance. Even my husband likes to watch it with me. So glad you linked up with FTSF and got your two for one. "Get them a room..." Hee hee...

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    1. I was mortified when I wrote them all out. I kind of wanted to link to all my most serious posts at the bottom to prove I'm not a complete airhead.

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  9. Oh my god, that list is either very impressive or very scary, and I've never even heard of most of them -- the drawbacks of living in Finland, I suppose. But yeah, you are definitely a cultural anthropologist. ;)

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    1. It's scary. Thanks for using the kinder term for my reality TV addiction!

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  10. Omg. It's 9:30am and now I'm dying for pizza. DYING. I don't think the lunch special at my favorite greasy pizza joint has started yet.

    Hubs loves Storage Wars and I got sucked in. Barry's my fave. My dad, who lives in Vegas, will not watch Pawn Stars because "Chumley's too stupid." lol

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    1. Chumley is stupid, but that's part of the fun! I like Dave Hester and his obnoxious "yuup"ing.

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  11. Your list is SO long! No Duck Dynasty, though, that's my current fav. The Big One likes Billy the Exterminator (and she's a girl, so I'm not sure where we went wrong there...maybe letting her watch it in the first place). Thanks for linking up with #FTSF!

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    1. Deep down I must have known I was out of control, because I remember thinking, "I can't watch Duck Dynasty because I'm already watching too much reality TV." Although really, what difference would one more show make at this point?

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  12. I had no idea there were so many reality shows. The only ones on that list I've watched are What Not To Wear and Little People, Big World.

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    1. I didn't either! I still can't believe it.

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  13. Truthfully, the reality shows are more entertaining. I don't believe all of them are real, but they keep me fully entertained!

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    1. I was disappointed when I realized some of them were less than 100% real, but like you said, somehow they manage to be entertaining anyway.

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  14. what a cute challenge with the we work for cheese; I'll have to check it out. I didn't realize there were that many reality shows out there over the years! I'm still determining what one our family can come up with and star in :)

    betty

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    1. Now there's an idea! I don't know why anyone would want to watch our daily life, but you could say that about a lot of these shows.

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  15. I could rant for days about how I think most "reality shows" are tearing down the medium of television...and then I'll sit down to watch "Moonshiners"...lol.

    When Survivor first came out, I loved it. I sent in three 'try out' videos and, once, stood in line six hours to cut a 30 second video. I don't watch it (or practically any other reality show) anymore, but my wife -more- than makes up for that with her viewing. She watches any and all, including Toddlers and Tiaras....ugh. She knows it's trash, but is compelled to keep watching. I just shake my head.

    I can see the appeal of some reality shows, but others just leave me scratching my head and wondering how people can stomach them. Different strokes, I guess :)

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    1. It must be the masochist in me: I can feel my brain decaying, but I just can't look away. I do watch non-reality shows too, which doesn't really make me feel better, because it means I watch a MASSIVE amount of TV. I didn't realize how much until I did this post. I'm still deciding whether or not I think that's a problem.

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  16. Hey Azara! Indigo here, a newbie. I found that list (none of which I've ever watched) to be very distressing, so I went back and looked at the picture of the pizza instead. Now that's the kind of reality I could get into. Indigo =)

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    1. Haha! I find the list distressing too. Unfortunately the pizza distresses me in a different way. I just don't want to look at this post at all.

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  17. Um, Azara, I don't know you. We've only just met. But I gotta say: "Get a life, woman!"

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    1. I know. It really is disgraceful. The only thing I can think to say is that this list covers at least a decade, during which I somehow managed to graduate university, get a professional designation and start my career, get married, travel to more than one place outside Canada, volunteer, work out 8 hours a week and have two kids. Oh, and start a blog.

      I'm not sure how I accomplished all this while apparently watching TV 24 hours a day. I blame my parents for depriving me of a TV growing up, forcing me to try to catch up now.

      Excuses, excuses, eh?

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  18. It can't be healthy to eat that much cheese, or to watch that much reality television. Are you sure you're not trying to escape reality? If so, please take me with you next time. I hate it here.

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    1. Haha!! I didn't think I hated it here, but this list does make me wonder.

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  19. That's quite a list! I counted about 25 of those on my reality tv list and I think that I have watched a few other ones that you have not. No Real World?

    BTW, Temptation Island was THE BOMB. Seriously, best show EVER.

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    1. Nope, no Real World. I think I liked Paradise Hotel the most - similar to Temptation Island, except for the whole "already in a couple" thing.

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  20. Hellooo fellow 30DM2 writing cohort. Some of those shows on your list I've never even heard of ... me as a cultural anthropologist [FAIL].

    thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

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    1. Well, you know, this is my own personal definition of cultural anthropology. Not the kind people go to school and get paid for.

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  21. YESSSS! That is my favourite joke in the WHOLE WORLD. I love it.

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    1. It's just so fun to say. NACHO cheese! NACHO cheese!

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    2. I recently added to that cheese joke with two more groaners...

      Q: What do you call a horse hidden in cheese?
      A: Mascarpone

      Q: What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror?
      A: Halloumi!

      Cheesy, but awesome.

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  22. Well holy cow! If I need a lesson in reality TV, I'll give you a call! I love the moldy cheese analogy. Linking up from the FTSF! :)

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    1. It seemed appropriate. The funny thing about the list is that I don't watch a lot of the most popular ones. Apparently I'm an indie reality TV show junkie. Bet you didn't know that existed until now.

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  23. See it amazes me that Honey boo boo even has a show. With all the talk of obesity in children let's glorify it instead of helping this child and her mother find a way to eat that is better. Train her in some manners.. ugh as a Southern woman that show grates on my last nerve. I want to reach through the screen and backwoods biotch slap both of them..

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    1. I've only seen bits of it, and I thought, "wow, this really is too trashy to watch." Except sometimes I feel it calling to me anyway. I felt sad when that baby was born, thinking of the insane people she would be raised with. She'll never even have a chance to be classy.

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  24. O.M.G. I thought I was the only person who ever watched Temptation Island. And watch it I did. All of the seasons. Never missed an episode. Also, that pizza up there looks dreamy.

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    1. I didn't watch all the seasons. At some point I became so disgusted by the participants that it wasn't even entertaining anymore. So I moved on to Jersey Shore. Haha!!

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  25. Oops, I should have added Shahs to my list - forgot about that one. There was actually another one last year - not sure if it got cancelled or just hasn't come back on yet. I think it was Muslim in America or something like that. I love Reza on Shahs - good bad or otherwise, he definitely "keeps it real." [#FTSF]

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    1. He's my favourite too. And I love to hate Gigi.

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  26. Seriously. You're my hero! I've only ever watched 12 of these. And I think I've heard of less than half. Some of them I would LOVE to watch, but I've got the blogging thing and the kids standing around in the living room all the time where the TV is and I wouldn't want them watching some of that stuff. I keep thinking I need to rent some of these or get them at the library. And I love how you "married" these two hops together.

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    1. Thanks Kate! I watch it when the kids are in bed - and obviously I don't currently watch all 75+ shows. At least I hope it's obvious...

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  27. That's a lotta reality - or non-reality as the case may be. "NACHO cheese!" - Ha! gonna go share that with the kiddo!

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    1. Best joke ever, IMHO. I also love: "What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?" "Elephino!" (say it out loud) A little less kid-friendly though.

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  28. HA! I love Baby Story, Didn't Know I was Pregnant, What Not to Wear, and ANYTHING on HGTV!

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    1. I went through a huge HGTV phase too. I still watch it but not as much as I used to.

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  29. I've seen ten on your list. BUT.... I do bachelor and bachelorette with Mom... we laugh through the whole thing. They deserve what they get!!!!

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    1. I've never watched even one episode! Maybe I'm missing out.

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  30. Oh wow. I'm impressed by your list. But I have to ask - when the heck do you sleep!??! I can barely stay awake for the few shows I actually watch.
    And LOVED this line: "See, I'm not a vapid couch potato. I'm a cultural anthropologist." Funny stuff.

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    1. I regularly fall asleep while watching TV. Massive sleep deprivation combined with endless fake drama will do that.

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  31. Wow! I've never seen a single reality TV show (unless American Idol counts - which I watched for a couple of years when my son was into it). I keep thinking I should watch RHNJ, since I am one ;)

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    1. Oh Stacie, you're way too classy to call yourself a RHNJ. Trust me.

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  32. I've got to admit that I watch way too many reality shows also. I'm glad that someone else can name all the Real Housewives! But I'm here for the cheese. Looking forward to reading your daily musings.

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    1. Thanks Malisa! Looking forward to reading yours as well.

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  33. Years ago, when I was in radio, we had the largest block of cheese ever manufactured come through town. A grocery store paid for an exclusive three hours of coverage of the event. In essence, I had to come up with cheese comments for three hours of air time. It was a day I will have nightmares about forever!!! lol You are the queen of reality TV watching. Billy the Exterminator???? Omg, watch out for those bees and raccoons in the attic!!!!

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    1. That is awesome. Three hours of coverage? Good Lord, why??

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  34. You poor, poor thing.

    BTW...Face Off is quite good - but then again I always liked special effects in film.

    I watched this one the other day...I didn't know it was a reality show as it was on one of the "cultural" channels...it was called "Plastic Wives" or something like that...about wives of high income doctors who basically spend all their money on making themselves look like microwaved Barbies. Ugh.

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    1. I saw that special (of course) and had the same reaction. "Microwaved Barbies" is a perfect description. What are they thinking? They don't look any younger, just weirder - and not in a good way.

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  35. Wow, color me impressed. I think you hit the cultural anthropologist point as soon as your viewing list reached number 50.

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    1. I started to get concerned when it went over 30!

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  36. Love your list---mine would be almost as long; I just can't help myself! And I'm stealing the "cultural anthropologist" line the next time my husband calls my shows trash!

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    1. Good to hear from another addict. I was feeling so alone in my garbage.

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  37. Wow, I admire your persistence by the list of shows that you have watched so far.

    Great post and informational for those who are reality tv addicts!

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Lend me some sugar!